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Divorce process must start with a difficult conversation

When a couple falls in love and decides to marry, it's likely hard to imagine that those feelings could ever change or diminish in any way. However, as the months and years progress and life experiences and changes occur, the relationship between spouses must also adjust and change accordingly. Children, a job loss, financial problems, death of a family member or friend or a move to another city or state are just some of the many life changes that are sure to have an impact on a relationship and marriage.

As changes occur, spouses who fail to communicate and effectively stay on the same page may drift apart. Shifting priorities, values and life goals are all factors that can ultimately drive a wedge between spouses, leaving each feeling disconnected and unhappy. When one spouse ultimately arrives at the decision that a marriage must end, a difficult conversation must follow.

Individuals who plan to discuss their desire to divorce with a husband or wife should do so when both have the time and energy to devote to such a serious topic. In cases where a spouse fears for his or her safety, it's best to have a divorce conversation in a public place. In most cases, however, telling a spouse in a private and quiet setting is best.

Informing a spouse about divorce plans will likely be difficult. Much depends on how communicative each spouse has been about their feelings and if divorce has been a previous topic of conversation. Regardless, it’s best to be considerate and kind when discussing one’s desire to divorce. This is especially the case when a couple has minor-aged children who will continue to be a lifelong tether between them.

Divorce is serious and once a spouse has relayed their desire to split up and start the process, there’s often no going back. It’s important, therefore, that husbands and wives who are contemplating divorce weigh the pros and cons of a marriage and are convinced divorce is truly the best option.

Source: The Huffington Post, "How To Tell Your Spouse That You Want A Divorce," Susan Pease Gadoua, Aug. 4, 2014

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