Gabrielle S. Davis, P.C.

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Ending the Visitation Blues

Child-holding-fathers-fin-001.jpgAre you an every other weekend parent? Does saying goodbye to your kid on Sundays after visitation physically hurt?

5 Ways to Avoid the Sunday Evening Blues.

1. Fight for as much time as possible with your child. Maybe you didn't expect this divorce. You didn't see it coming and you feel so blindsighted that you just agree to what your soon to be ex-wife or ex-husband wants for your visitation even though you feel you are getting the raw deal with your child. Don't just agree to make everything go faster. Go through mediation to iron out a parenting schedule that gives you as much time as possible without disrupting his or her life with too much back and forth. Get a lawyer to advocate for your rights as a parent.

2. Once you are divorced, don't bully your ex-spouse. Attempting to micromanage what your ex does with your kid can turn into bullying. It is one thing to insist that Mom or Dad give Johnny his medication. It is another to insist that the minor child be put to bed no later than 30 minutes later than his or her bedtime when he or she is with you.

3. Try to "Co-Parent" with your ex. As difficult as it may be to communicate with your ex, try talking to him or her about what your kid is up to. Try to find some common ground like suggesting "Hey he is really enjoying baseball we should encourage him to continue"  You could suggest that both of you talk to a teacher about problems your child might be having in school. I know that it takes two and that your ex may not be willing to talk but you can always make an effort to be involved even when your kid is not with you and show the ex how to put your kid first.

4. If you are depressed after the divorce and feeling unable to enjoy event he time you do have with your child, get professional counseling. It can really help!

5. Finally concentrate on the time you have with your kid. Make every second count. Listen to him or her. Don't tune them out. Observe how your kid is constantly changing. You don't have to be the Disneyland Dad or Mom to just enjoy being with your child.

If you try to do these things, it won't hurt so much the next time the weekend ends and you have to say goodbye to your kid. You will have really enjoyed your time with him or her and you will know that your role as Dad or Mom doesn't end when you are not physically with them.

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